288 hours and counting.

The time since Wayne passed has virtually flown by and yet in some ways has been most irritatingly slow. I truly understand what it feels like to be in a time warp. Your sensations are dulled and out of sync. A fellow blogger has put up an MP3 (Dust In The Wind) on his site that speaks to how I am feeling today about Wayne's passing. (http://richgelina.blogspot.com/) "By His Grace For His Glory".

I think we believe ourselves to be invincible and utterly permanent so when something like a life changing accident occurs, we learn the first lesson. Mortality. We suddenly get a crash course in the realization that we are not here forever and frankly need to make every moment count. But even more than that is the idea that we all are supposed to be here for each other. There are plenty of people out there who are just getting their money together and hiding it in the bank until such time as they can have a great time spending it on their alleged security. But if you truly need them, they are not there for you. I have heard many cliches since the event but even some whom I truly believed meant it, really didn't.

 "This is an appropriate song for how I am feeling and reflecting on Wayne's passing. It is true that in this plane we are but dust in the wind. If anything of us remains, it is the love we have shared with each other." I can't stress enough that if you have feelings for someone, anyone, you should not hide them. You don't know that you will be able to tell them later. Every life has some conflict in it, try to minimize this. It's too late after the fact. 

I guess I just want to say that I am going to be okay. It has been terribly challenging all along so this really is nothing new except that my very best friend is somewhere else. I send my love and warmth to him all the time and I know he is returning it. I also know he will stick around to help guide me in the rest of my life for which I am grateful. I was truly blessed to have him in my life and I will continue to honour him with how I live and also how I speak of him to others. He was not a saint and would be the first to tell you that he was very normal and earthly. My heart will ache for a very long time but at least today when I got up, I felt a more positive outlook coming back. I hope you turn and tell your loved ones right away that you love and value them. Hug the hell out of them even if they squirm, and remember, No Regrets!!

Namaste