Family Love

I want to start by telling you a funny story about my mother. It's sad to say that she developed a real taste for white rum and coke plus her age made her someone who would test a friendship in a way most inappropriate. Let me explain....

We had new neighbours move in next door who were a young couple with kids. They were very sweet and they gravitated to my mother. Everything was great, we all were getting along just fine until one afternoon when I was at school. I came home and all the way down the hall, ( we lived in a 4 plex) I could hear the record player going crooning out something by Nat King Cole. I entered to see my mother and Frank from next door talking and laughing over a tumbler, that's right a tumbler full of white rum, darkened only slightly by some cola in the kitchen. Someone had told a rather off colour joke and they were laughing uproariously together. I continued on to my room knowing that this evening was going to be challenging to say the least and I might as well get my homework done now, because I wouldn't get a chance later. From my bedroom, I could hear them giggling and pouring, and just generally having a good time when suddenly the tone changed. I didn't know why but I started feeling very uneasy.

Next thing I knew, there was a knock at my bedroom door. I answered and it was Frank looking a little pale but strangely peeved. He said "Your Mom is sick I think". We went into the living room where my mother was laying on the floor in what was supposed to be a dead faint. In the most chivalrous and drunken way he could manage, Frank swooped her up in his arms, (her favourite thing) and carried her into her bedroom. He layed her gently on her bed and proceeded to pat her hands trying to bring her around. It was no good. She seemed to be too gone to wake up. All of a sudden he got a sparkle in his eye and called me to the bedroom. "I have to help your poor Mom", he cried, "I only know of one thing that will help her now!" "What is that?" I asked. "I have to bleed her! It's the only way! Go and get me a really sharp knife!" He looked at me almost grinning and I got it! I knew he was calling her bluff so I said in my most sincere, scared voice "Alright, if you think that is what you have to do." "Hurry", he said, " We shouldn't lose any time." I ran down the hallway and rustled through the kitchen drawer as loudly as I could to get the knife. After selecting what I thought was dull enough that he would have to rub her arms to make them bleed, I ran back and said "Here you go!" Well folks, I must tell you that I beheld a miracle on that day of days. The Lord was working in my mother's bedroom because when I got back, her eyes were open and she was struggling to sit up. Oh, so weak, but awake praise the Lord. After she shot me several dark looks she said, breathlessly, "I'm alright. I don't know what came over me." Frank stifled a chuckle knowing full well that it all was a test to see if he cared or not.

As I look back, it actually makes me quite sad that she seemed to have to do the Southern Belle, femme fatale in order to get the attention that she seemed to desire. It wasn't enough that they were drinking and partying. I guess the problem was that she wanted to test him. I had seen her do it before many times so it was only a day in the life for me, but I think she succeeded to actually scare him at first. Most other people would not know how to deal with it, and usually they would try to get her to go to the doctor but then she could be the Martyr and say oh no it was okay. She would always say, I can hear you, I just can't react. It's very frightening.

I laughed many times over this one however because this man called her bluff beautifully and scared her back to health. I wonder if she ever thought to herself that she had come very close to giving blood and it wasn't to the Red Cross.

Peace!

The Saga of Cupid by Gary Phillip Kerr

Here is the second installment of Gary's writing. Unfortunately, these are the only surviving pieces that I am aware of. I am so honoured that he thought so well of me to give me these two. He really poured himself into them and was proud of them. As he should be. Thank you for your indulgence and I sincerely hope you find as much pleasure in his writing as I do.

The Saga of Cupid

The webs of gossamer spun from the moon,

Strengthened the starlight above,

Brought down to Earth by the morning dew,

Have woven their mystic spell of Love.

No-one can escape the enchantment so new,

And old as the Earth itself.

No-one alive is immune to its spell,

Mot even the Weaver himself.

Herein lies the tale of Cupid.

The immortal God of Love.

And how through the schemings of a Woman,

Was himself caught in the Web of Love.

Aphrodite was the woman's name,

And she was am immortal Goddess

She looked as every woman longs to,

and was adept in the arts of a Temptress.

The fair Aphrodite was smitten by Cupid,

Upon no other would she rest her eyes;

But Cupid had sworn never to marry,

So Aphrodite sought the counsel of one of the Wise.

Straight to Diana, the Huntress she went,

And asked how she might ensnare her prey.

Diana thought long and hard upon this,

And finally thought she had devised a way.

Go into his Potions of Love she said

For the God to this can fall prey

Put it into his mead when he's unaware,

and he will fall for the first one who looks his way.

Now all of the Gods thought this a fantastic joke,

For Cupid had sworn to remain fancy free

So they gathered together an enormous banquet,

To see just what would be.

The potion administered in his mead,

Aphrodite was ready to ensnare her prey

But just as Cupid took his first long drink,

Diana happened to look his way!

And so Aphrodite was rejected once more,

And the Huntress was caught in her own snare

For once administered, there was no cure,

And this situation Diana could not bear!

For she like Cupid had sworn to remain single

and so began an endless quest

Where she went Cupid would follow,

For him there was to be no rest.

GPK

"The Council" by Gary Phillip Kerr

I write this today to honour my friend Gary Kerr, who after a very long struggle with his identity, took his own life. I am saddened by the fact that at the time, being Gay was a huge stigma that many could not get past. It was Gary who explained to me what being Gay meant. This was 1968 and I was 15 and shocked but I loved Gary as a dear forever friend so accepted his lifestyle as a part of him. Following I will print one of his beautiful pieces that he wrote with love. I'll publish the second at another time. This first will whet your whistle to want more. I hope Gary, wherever you are now that you are happy, strong, and know that you are well loved in this world and the next.

THE COUNCIL

The Old Gods had gathered together again,

They gathered to debate a serious case.

Should they allow Earth to continue on as it was?

Or should they exterminate the human race?

With Zeus as the judge the trial began,

And he asked who was going to defend.

Young Mercury rose up to his feet at once,

And swore he would defend the Earth to the end.

Mars then arose and begged of Zeus

To allow him to prosecute.

He enjoyed the things Earth did he said,

But this was one duty he wished to execute.

And so the battle began above,

With Earth, perhaps mercifully, all unaware.

Mars brought all of his skills to play,

As he laid all of mankind's faults bare.

"Look at the history of bigotry they have!

And see how they persecute their own kind!

See how the rich mistreat others less fortunate

And how they don't honor treaties they sign!

Look at the rich history of prejudice they have

and the prejudice is far from dead today

These damning faults Mars pounded at skillfully,

Then Mercury arose to have his say.

But Mercury said not a word to them.

Instead he directed their gaze to the planet below.

To a city called New York in the U.S.A.,

To a certain event happening far below.

A tenement building was all ablaze

And a young Negro child was trapped within.

Suddenly a young man broke free of the crowd,

And without hesitation, plunged right in.

Guided by the child's screams he ran,

Through heat that seemed to lick up from Hell.

Into the room that the child was trapped in,

And as they escaped the whole building fell.

Into the arms of his frantic Mother

Whose thanks she could only cry

To the young white man who had so bravely saved

Her child who had so nearly died.

Mercury looked at Zeus quite calmly

And simply said, "I rest my case"

Zeus smiled fondly at the youthful God

For Mercury had saved the human race.

GPK

Peace!

My girl, Kerli

KERLI PERSALL

MAY 11,2002 - NOVEMBER 28,2009

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

8 weeks old. Chubby and lethargic. A little slow because she was tired at that time of evening but when we saw her, we knew she was the one. There was something so sweet and tender about those big beautiful eyes. We paid our money, signed the documents, agreed to a vet visit and a spaying and drove home. Wayne held her in his arms while I drove. We had gone to Abbotsford Petsmart to pick her up. She was so cute and smelled like a puppy. Sort of a pablum and kennel kind of smell. She just snuggled into him and quietly took the ride home. I noticed that she had a curl on the end of her tail and said to Wayne, what shall we name her? He said I don't know, you pick. I remembered being fascinated with Kerlian photography at one time, ( they supposedly could take a picture of your aura) and the curl in her tail amused me so I suggested Kerli. The name stuck and she has the most loving and nuturing nature of any dog I have ever seen.

She was born on a farm on May the 11th, 2002. I have to admit that it has been so much fun training her, walking with her, playing with her. She has been a gigantic part of our little family. On October 25, 2009 she was in pain and having difficulty breathing. I went to give her one of my special hugs and felt underneath her jaw line and found two extremely swollen glands. They were as big as my fists. Her eyes were red and she looked very tired. I got her to the vet right away and his examination revealed that it could very possibly be lymphosarcoma. He prescribed antibiotics as well as gave her a shot to get her started. He also gave her a shot of steroids to take the swelling down fast. By the evening time, she was visibly better and even felt like playing a little. I went out in the afternoon and bought all kinds of stuff that is supposed to boost the immune system and made up special dog food for her. My friend who does Reiki has been working with her, not to heal but to ease. It's pretty well clear that she is on her way out but I want her not to suffer on the way.

I got the phone call that evening confirming our worst fears that she definitely had cancer. My heart broke because of course I always hope for the best in all things and I kept thinking happy thoughts for her. If I just believed hard enough I could make it go away.

I have come to know that animals have a very special place and job when it comes to humans. They come here to teach and once the lesson is accomplished they can leave if they choose. Kerli has taught us about unconditional love, happiness in companionship, and best of all, how to play!! She was extremely supportive when Wayne was first in the hospital, never leaving my side. Especially when at night I would weep myself to sleep. She and my two kitties would surround me and love me to bits, giving me all the love and support they could. The best thing she taught me though was how to be a good Pet Partner. I don't believe that we really own anything. We had classes in puppy training where they teach you how to be with your pet. Being the alpha because there are times when they need to pay strict attention to you in the worst moments. It can mean their life. A favorite memory I have was one time when we were playing catch in the house, she was running and went to turn and hurt her leg. She yelped out and immediately came to me for comfort. I treated her just like a little kid, found the spot that hurt and rubbed it and kissed it better. Then I hugged her and smiled a big smile and said "all better!" She licked me all over my face. I felt so honoured to be trusted like that.

I learned mutual respect for my animal and she was really very motherly to me, to Wayne and to her little sister kitties. Kerli has been and forever will be an integral part of our family and although I will miss her worse than anything, I will always be so very grateful to have had her love in our lives. So I will not say goodbye but til we meet again. She knew she was so very loved and loved us back. I know she will be there for each of us when it's time for us to pass.

Peace.

Acceptance

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

Amen.

If like me, you have never seen the whole prayer, I hope this touches you as it has touched me. Almost everybody knows part of it, and it often is said as a Mantra but to hear the whole thing made me tingle and I felt a feeling of compassion washing over me. I have been very emotional and angry over the last few weeks for various reasons and It seems that I have come to a crossroads. These are times when you need to remain calm to deliberate your decisions because sometimes you don't think clearly and then reap the consequences. I have had enough of that kind of reaping to last a life time and would like to just sail easily along, floating on my little no worries dinghy. Lapping up the sunshine, feeling the breezes blowing over me......Yeah! right. Life isn't like that and we all know it, however the distinction is in how you deal with your plight or pleasure. I choose to be positive about all of it. The point is that things are going to happen and the theory is that you have brought the circumstances to yourself to provide you with an arena in which to learn the lesson you are seeking. Well, I do believe that but I also think that the message is in how other people see us take care of our business. After all, aren't we also learning from each other? If I see you do something far easier than I do, you can bet that I will emulate you.

I know for a fact that it is easier to deal with conflict when you are calm yourself. Not only that but it is amazing what a little silence will do. Next time you are in a situation where you're having a slightly heated discourse or tension filled moment, be silent for a bit. The other party will rush to fill the void because human beings get really uncomfortable when someone isn't talking. Thereby giving you control. (and time to think) Stay relaxed and get to the goal with less sweat and surprisingly, with more confidence. It helps you to keep your perspective.

I love listening to the wind in the trees even when it is a bit strong. I feel very calm when I hear it especially when I can hear my chimes as well. It's kind of a zen moment. I can so relate to another blog I read recently on this subject. I too am grateful for many things and the best being the wonderful people and pets I have in my life. Love is love. There are so many ways to share it. Following please read a prayer I was given by my husband to carry in my purse with me to start my day. It gives me peace and a knowing that no matter what you may call it...God, Yahweh, Spirit, Source, or Universe. It really is all the same thing and we all are trying to accomplish that common goal. Thank you to all those who read my blogs faithfully. I so appreciate you in ways I can't tell you but knowing you are there, watching is very comforting.

Peace.

Good Morning Lord

You are ushering in another day

untouched and freshly new,

so here I come to ask You God

if You'll renew me too?

Fogive the many errors, that

I made yesterday, and let me try

again dear God, to walk closer

in Thy way.

But Father I am well aware

I can't make it on my own.

So take my hand and hold it tight

for I can't walk alone.

Kristone

Lovely Blog Award

Wow! I am so excited to receive and to accept a "Lovely Blog Award" I love writing and it is due to my friend Gary that I even started one. I had been reading his for a while and after he suggested I might try it, I decided what the heck it might be fun. Well it has been far more than fun. It has been cathartic and extremely helpful in that I have been able to really speak of things in my heart. And the neat thing is that people are reading me and enjoying it. So thank you God, in all things you are present. Thank you Gary I shall weat this with pride and honour. I have read many wonderful blogs on this site and I agree that it is a difficult item to decide on one person to pass this award on to but I will pass it on to Dixie who I see improving and coming farther every day. She has a wonderful spirit and a hunger for peace. Wear it well Dixie, I enjoy you. http://dcrelief.blogspot.com/

Here and Now

It's always an amazing thing to realize just how much we really have to be grateful for. The expression "Don't sweat the small stuff" rings through my ears when faced with yet another example of incompetency that we should just accept and go on. In our situation, accepting things may be okay for me, but in my husbands case, if it's wrong, he gets to suffer for a minimun of 14 hours before it can be made right. And then people have attitude if you correct them. I have decided that if I ever get the chance to train any of these folks, the first class would be a rough one for them because they would be forced to sit on their hands for no less than 30 minutes. During my talk, I would be introducing material pertinent to them passing their course and critical that they remember it for their tests. As soon as the thirty minutes was up, I would be erasing the information. Cruel? I hardly think so. They can go back to functioning normally. If they have an itch, they will be able to scratch it then. A paralyzed person cannot scratch, rub or even tickle his nose but nature still will make it itch. A fly will still land and look over the area. And when people tell that person that they need to remember something important for later, the panic that comes with that is phenominal. After all, I can't call my secretary to make sure these things are written down. What if I remember it wrong? Or even better, I can't dial the phone. Then what?

I remember speaking on the phone with my husband one time in the hospital. They propped a phone by his ear so that we could chat and while we were talking, he asked a nurse if he could have a drink please. She said she would but that she was very busy and couldn't do it now. She would have to come back in ten minutes. I got furious over that. The time she took to explain why she couldn't give him a sip was more that it would have taken to give him a drink. In the meantime, he has to lay there and be patient and wait. Oh, and let's not forget how at the time the doctors are constantly reminding him that he needs to be drinking more liquids. An incident that springs to mind in my frustration is when a nurse didn't like my husband. He sensed it and let her know it. This was at lunch time. Her way of getting revenge was to let his lunch tray sit nearby with the tantalizing smells teasing him, while she went and did something else. I got there at 2:30 and it was still sitting there. You can imagine what nice things I had to say about this behaviour. Every one is allowed to disagree but torture is not allowed.

It begs the question as to the "quality" of care. It was suggested to me one time that since I will be going back to school, that I should take the course to be a care aide. I vehemently said no way. First it's not my cup of tea. Second I see so much incompetence now, it would just frustrate me more. Third they already use me. No thanks. You couldn't possibly pay me enough. Most of their jobs are taking care of seniors with dementia or who are unable to do menial tasks such as vacuum or shop for themselves. Rarely is it life threatening. We had one guy who was so stupid, that when my husband became delirious due to infection, he didn't recognize the symptoms and did not phone me at work to let me know of the emergency situation. Instead he waited until I came home to tell me that my husband had been unresponsive and slept all day plus would not talk to him or take his medicines. Well, duh!! Maybe he was slipping away before your very eyes you dumb *******!!!! I was furious. To top it off, he had to be retrained almost every day. He wouldn't or couldn't pay attention and the company wouldn't do anything about it. Plus my husband felt like a hostage because he thought they all were like that and didn't want to go through a new person. It just boggle s the mind and what they charge is unreal!! Not only that but they have attitude if you complain.

I thank God every day that I have this positive side of my nature. Frankly, if I didn't I don't know how I would get through a day. He is always by me and I lean on Him a lot.

Peace!